oh four twenty two.

today is my thirtieth birthday.
i know, right?! it's a miracle i've made it this far.
so much randomness from the past thirty years has filled my head today. most of it hilarious and nothing short of crazy shenanigans, mind you. but i managed to squeeze in a little reflection, too.
and alas  - a punch list of the top three things i've decided to hold on to from the past thirty years:

1. laugh as much as you possibly can until your sides hurt. if you can make me laugh, you're pretty much golden. there's no faking it here. i have the loudest laugh of anyone i've ever met. and if you hear it, you know it's true. and genuine. and that it's one of my most favorite things to do. i can find the humor in the most mundane situations and it's usually my saving grace. it also helps to grow up the fat kid and laugh before everyone else laughs at you. just sayin. when i get really tickled i start clapping like a seal with no sound coming out whatsoever. that's when you know you've really got me. my abs are usually sore the next day. but it is a feeling i wouldn't trade for the world. no matter how ridiculous i look or if you seem to find the same thing(s) funny or not. i also sometimes snort, but that's neither here nor there.

2. i do what i want. this one took some time to grab ahold of. took some hope thrown my way and support i didn't know i needed. it's not like i take this to the extreme - i'm not getting arrested for crap or anything, calm down. if i feel like eating cherry berry three times in 24hrs. i do it. if i get a notion to load up and head out to mexico. i do my best to make it happen. life is short. and not promised. and i spent the majority of my first thirty years doing what everyone else wanted me to. and it was not that fun. and i am a FREAKING 10 on the fun meter. people's opinion of whatever it is i happen to be doing is no longer factored in to every decision i make. so yes, yes i'll have cheese sticks and waffles for dinner. thankyouverymuch. stomach aches will go away eventually. people don't stay mad forever. and someday that band will no longer be together and you'll have wished you went to see them. do. what. you. want. crazy how those five little words have impacted my life. crazy how they give me wings. (ps. just for the record, i have no desire to go to mexico. that was a total example.)

3. it's okay to love people once in awhile. sometimes. see these walls. the ones all around me. they're all there for a reason. i can probably tell you how each brick got there, too. but once in a blue moon, i let them down. not often mind you. not frivolously. certainly not just for any-and-everyone. once said walls are down, though - it'll take 10,000 armies to put them back up. it's an always kinda thing with me. i'm not wishy-washy about much of anything. but my heart especially. i guard it like fort knox. but in every risk i've taken, every time i've let them fall - i haven't regretted it once. i don't regret it, because i know exactly how i got to that point and that i do everything i can to make sure i'm not a brick in someone else's wall (hey there, pink floyd. so cute how y'all thought i'd make it through a post without some sort of lyrical reference. adorbs. really.) sure, i get that not everyone will appreciate how much it took for me to be so vulnerable when it seems like such a second-nature thing to do for everyone else. i understand that i tend to care too much for people that don't care a thing about me. but at the end of the day, i can sleep a little easier knowing that i loved without hesitation. occasionally. ;)

here's to the big dirty thirty. 

how we spent july eighteenth.

 so in the last days of december, maybe the first weeks in january... i can't really remember, we discovered a sweet little surprise -- 

well hello there little one!

sorry to not know you were even around for almost three months.

my bad. i love you.

we told all of two people when we realized what was going on - and lucky for us, those two could keep a secret and didn't tell a soul until we were ready.

we found out we were having a 

B-O-Y 

a few weeks later!
 

people had no idea how long i prayed and prayed for you.

and just like we did with kiddo numero uno, we kept your name a secret too.

gotta give the peeps something to look forward to.

 {21 weeks}

i wasn't sick at all. 

and i ate A1 on everything. 

like it was going out of style.

 {28weeks}

i stayed in the a/c as much as possible.

or in the pool. 

had me a nice little tan going on.

{36 weeks}

this is the last shot of the 'ole belly.

it'll be the last one EVER.

so glad i chose to take it in the bathroom mirror...

july eighteenth two thousand eleven

oh my goodness - a baby in july. are you serious? so hot. so huge. and so ready.

so i didn't tell anyone i scheduled myself to be induced.

because i seriously couldn't take any more.

and i didn't want to hear anyone elses opinion about it. 

so there ya go!

d.might and ava dropped me off {oh yes - dropped me off} at the hospital at 6am.

since we didn't tell anyone - ava came with us.

after they dropped me off, they went to breakfast.

it's not like i could eat anything anyways! 

so i just napped.

the eating thing and the napping thing would be the theme of the day.

i napped on & off most of the day.

d.might & ava came & went as they wanted.

while they went to moe's for lunch, the dr. broke my water.

and then i napped some more.

around 4pm the nurse came in and said 

'you should probably call someone, you'll have him anytime!'

so we did.

ashes was the first to arrive.

followed closely by pops & gigi.

and they got there just in the nick of time.

ashes snapped this pic of the three of us.

the last pic of just our little fam of three.

i love ava's sweet little hands.

and then they kicked everyone out.

mimi & pawpaw joined them in the waiting room.

now, here's were there are two different version's of this story.

which is why i'm blogging the CORRECT one.

yes, it is true i napped literally all day.

yes, it is true that i continued to press the nurses button to come check me because i was hungry and wanted him out already.

i hadn't eaten all day!
and i was getting HA-ngry.
not good, y'all. not good.

that is still considered labor, people.

and at 6:00pm - on the dot. 

{just in time for dinner}

he decided to make his appearance...

ava was the first person to get to come meet him! she loved on him and open presents by herself first.

and then we had her go out to the rest of them and announce her baby brother was here.

dax william {d.dub} weighed in at 8lbs 9oz and 21' long.

my little linebacker.

we immediately subjected him to crazy fam pics, despite his persistent crying.

i only put this pic on here because my hair looks pretty and oh so shiny.

and you can see my sticker ava gave me for being so good all day.

true story.

sweet baby boy.

oh man, my mom makes stupid faces, too?!?!

why you no like the duck face, d.dub??

he'll learn.

back to the eating part of the day.

i kid you not, i was so hungry.

i couldn't make up my mind if i wanted a supreme pizza, a tunafish pita, or some cake.

and texted my sister a ridiculous amount of times trying to decide.

she had her fill, i guess.

because she brought me all three of them!

and yes, i ate them all.

and i'm pretty sure i hear the hallelujah chorus over my chomping.

the night wound down with a visit from my kwim and ethan.

my heart was so happy that she came on his birthday!

the next day was what i like to refer to as a 'parade of visitors' and it lasted all day long - but i was so happy to have everyone i loved the most there! 

ninner, papa tv, and sissy came first thing the next morning, and kiki, and massey and kel, and uncle b. {bearing sweet tea that i'm sure was Heaven sent}, and monkey, and nan, and friends and cousins and well wishers galore.

even well wishers i have yet to meet, but i'm pretty sure are fantastic.

and this little gem... well, i have it framed.

my sister keeps the best company.

dear bolivia, can we be bff's too? i'm just as cool as my sister.

i swear.

'um, yes, waiter?'

'table for FOUR please'

and that is how we spent july eighteenth.

fin.

new york, new york : round 2 : 2010 : the finale

i know right.

like seriously - how much longer does this trip go on???!!!

this is the last post about it.

scouts honor.

sunday morning, d.might & i took the subway uptown to church.

and lo & behold ran into a familiar face...

jessie!!

one of my sister's best friends!!

it was so nice to see her & catch up for a little bit - we went to starbucks after church & then road the subway back to midtown together.

she is such a beautiful soul.

love her.

we also happened to find the winning version of 'ducky-mo-mo' for ava!!

doesn't look a thing like a duck, but she loves it just the same.

the chrysler building.

just standing there all shiny and pretty.

while we were walking down 5th ave, we stumbled upon this little gem of a parade...

and lets face it. 

it's no secret how much i love a parade.

the music! the dancing! the sycronization!! ahh!!! loved it.

these dudes were killin' it with all their bells and whistles.

i'm dead serious.

there were bells on all their boots and they blew whistles.

amazeballs.

that night we went to one of the only two places in the world i eat burgers from - 5 napkin!

me & d.might!

....and 2/3 of barts face.

typical.

this boy and his sushi.

oy vey.

yiz. uck.

and here we have what normal people call Y-U-M!!!

so, so delish.

after dinner we made it back down to the financial district, since we cut the outing short the other day.

of course, it was like 10pm & everything was closed, but it was still amazing to see it with construction lights on & such.

it was right around this time we all needed a bathroom break and of course, chaos ensued.

we were in a building observing ground zero and finally found a restroom on the ground floor.

however, we only found a men's bathroom - we couldn't find the women's!!!

ugh. we were on the verge of dying, i kid you not.

soooo, we made sure no one else was around & had the boys watch the door.

if i never have to use a men's bathroom again. it'll be too soon.

but it was pretty funny at the time.

or maybe we were just getting delirious.

i'm gonna go with the latter one...

we were really trying to get on the last ferry ride of the night, you see. to go out & see the statue of liberty. but we had some detours & hiccups along the way. duh. because what fun would it be to just go straight to the ferry??!!

it was on this alleyway where someone dared me to jump a fire hydrant just to see if i could get off the ground...

and i. did.

here is the only clear picture out of about 34 that turned out of me & amanda with good ole george.

you can't see amanda's shoes in this picture can you??

that because she took them off 3 blocks back.

and continued the trip barefoot.

the new york stock exchange, of course.

we were also wandering around for a starbucks that was open.

guess how many we found in a 4 block radius with 2 stores on each corner?!?!?!!

that's right - not a one.

the boys & the bull.

and finally...

we made it.

at 11:34pm.

4 minutes after the last ferry left.

i believe you'd call that a F A I L.

amanda & i spent the next day shopping the entire time!

but we did, however, manage to make it to chelsea.

fat witch bakery.

eh. overrated.

amanda with the food network logo!!

they still wouldn't let us upstairs.

rude.

we called the boys & had them meet us for lunch somewhere special..

special is hard salami sammies & cel-ray soda, if i do say so myself.

and of course, zak morris right next to you.

he probably wanted his phone back from amanda...

our last night in the city, we split from the boys for this guy...

oh. yes. we. did.

being in the audience for a live tv show taping was crazy fun!

seriously.

amanda & i even made it on tv!!

and jimmy shook her hand!!!

she said it felt like death.

but we laughed & laughed & laughed.

total fun time.

around midnight we wandered over to grand central to see what the bums were up to.

 it is always stunningly beautiful.

then headed over to times square for a last HOO-RAH! and on the way over, found my name on a building...

obviously this city loves me.

well, at least this building does.

we went to junior's for coffee & cheesecake & it was DE-LISH.

we weren't prepared for what all was about to go down though...

while we were chillin & eatin & chattin it up, amanda went across the street to get some souvenirs for the kiddo's in her class at school.

about 5 minutes after she left, it got cold.

quick.

and the winds picked up.

enough to throw some chairs around the patio we were sitting on.

and then,

the bottom fell out.

and i mean FELL. OUT.

and here comes little ole' amanda through the sheets of rain with her little bag of pencils!

hahahahahaha!! 

we started out when the rain let up a little bit, only to have lighting durn near strike us right in front of the hard rock cafe {in which we ducked for cover}.

it finally let up a little bit again & off we went.

but, alas - we had to stand on the curb & wait for traffic.

and most normal people wait a few steps back, yes??!!

and now, amanda knows that after being COVERED - and i mean COV-ERED in street sewage from head to toe.

twice.

she was soooooo mad she didn't say a word to any of us the entire walk back to the hotel.

and i could not stop the giggles.

i know, i'm horrible.

but it was literally like a scene right out of a movie.

and with morning light, it was all said and done with.

wonderful trip. wonderful friends. crazy wonderful good times.

amen.

new york, new york : round 2 : 2010 : III

we kicked off the weekend with breakfast {our hotel always has a killer breakfast} and headed out for a PACKED day.

we stumbled upon a little street fair when we left the hotel & just perused through it down avenue of the americas.

of course you can see the empire state building on the left in the pic above - but that tall orangish-brownish building over there on the far right is our hotel. and all those beautiful trees are bryant park.

what does one's view look like in the mornings staying at such accommodations you ask?? well, you have two choices...

 bryant park.... or...

the empire state building.

ummm - like either of those would ever be considered anything but an awesome view!! HELLO.

 as we were walking down the street, i asked amanda to snap a quick pic of me & d.might...

and ended up with a sweet photobomb by bub rub. awesomesauce.

the street fair was pretty neat - there were all sorts of vendors! pashminas, hats, sunglasses, etc. and of course jewelry booths - one even had bugs in the jewelry. like for real insects.

and it totally smelled like toad suck daze. not the jewelry. the actual street.

we finally made our way down to our intended destination - the first stop of the day...

i've had this print in my room since around the age of fourteen and even though i adore it -- i can't help but think of how my accident prone self would fall plum off that beam if it were me eating my lunch up there.

the empire.

the park.

the boys.

we headed over to brooklyn {ahem, via the subway, mind you - s.c.a.r.y. stuff} after our top of the rock adventure.

we'd heard of the best pizza place ever and we're full believers of not leaving any stone unturned.

and here is the line to get into said best pizza place ever.

however, there was this little park just down the street, overlooking the river - so we took turns standing in line & walking around down here a little.

grimaldi's pizzeria.

tiny. old. full of italian dudes.

and delicious pizza & root beer. 

it was so good!! but i'm not really one for waiting an hour and a half {on a good day} for food. 

call me impatient if you must. 

but the last thing you'd want to deal with is me waiting for food...

why take the subway or a cab back into manhattan when it's just a bridge away??

exactly.

loved walking back across the brooklyn bridge.

except for almost getting taken out by people riding bikes.

twice.

we stopped at a few points just to observe and found this little jewel written on the bridge right were we happened to stop...

f.a.t.e.

the brooklyn bridge.

we eventually made our way over to ground zero, of course.

because it doesn't matter how many times you've been down there - it is always an amazing thing.

the cross at ground zero.

this go-round they had the 9/11 memorial store open. so in we went.

i wish i had the adequate words to describe what it feels like to be in there, to see everything in there.

this is a replica of what it all should look like when construction is finished. simply amazing.

unfortunately amanda got seriously sick right around this point, so we decided to come back and see the towers, construction, and what was once ground zero.

she rested a good part of the afternoon and evening and luckily felt well enough to make it to one of the biggest highlights of the trip...

the yankee game.

yankee stadium, the bronx.

new york yankees v. the minnesota twins

american league championship series - game five

of course you need a broom when the yank's sweep the series!!!!

SWISH-ER.

and this lovely, lovely little thing is what one might refer to as a bleacher creature.

and the other one to her left... jury's still out on if that was her son or her date.

crazy fans. crazy win. crazy, CRAZY good time.