oh four twenty two.

today is my thirtieth birthday.
i know, right?! it's a miracle i've made it this far.
so much randomness from the past thirty years has filled my head today. most of it hilarious and nothing short of crazy shenanigans, mind you. but i managed to squeeze in a little reflection, too.
and alas  - a punch list of the top three things i've decided to hold on to from the past thirty years:

1. laugh as much as you possibly can until your sides hurt. if you can make me laugh, you're pretty much golden. there's no faking it here. i have the loudest laugh of anyone i've ever met. and if you hear it, you know it's true. and genuine. and that it's one of my most favorite things to do. i can find the humor in the most mundane situations and it's usually my saving grace. it also helps to grow up the fat kid and laugh before everyone else laughs at you. just sayin. when i get really tickled i start clapping like a seal with no sound coming out whatsoever. that's when you know you've really got me. my abs are usually sore the next day. but it is a feeling i wouldn't trade for the world. no matter how ridiculous i look or if you seem to find the same thing(s) funny or not. i also sometimes snort, but that's neither here nor there.

2. i do what i want. this one took some time to grab ahold of. took some hope thrown my way and support i didn't know i needed. it's not like i take this to the extreme - i'm not getting arrested for crap or anything, calm down. if i feel like eating cherry berry three times in 24hrs. i do it. if i get a notion to load up and head out to mexico. i do my best to make it happen. life is short. and not promised. and i spent the majority of my first thirty years doing what everyone else wanted me to. and it was not that fun. and i am a FREAKING 10 on the fun meter. people's opinion of whatever it is i happen to be doing is no longer factored in to every decision i make. so yes, yes i'll have cheese sticks and waffles for dinner. thankyouverymuch. stomach aches will go away eventually. people don't stay mad forever. and someday that band will no longer be together and you'll have wished you went to see them. do. what. you. want. crazy how those five little words have impacted my life. crazy how they give me wings. (ps. just for the record, i have no desire to go to mexico. that was a total example.)

3. it's okay to love people once in awhile. sometimes. see these walls. the ones all around me. they're all there for a reason. i can probably tell you how each brick got there, too. but once in a blue moon, i let them down. not often mind you. not frivolously. certainly not just for any-and-everyone. once said walls are down, though - it'll take 10,000 armies to put them back up. it's an always kinda thing with me. i'm not wishy-washy about much of anything. but my heart especially. i guard it like fort knox. but in every risk i've taken, every time i've let them fall - i haven't regretted it once. i don't regret it, because i know exactly how i got to that point and that i do everything i can to make sure i'm not a brick in someone else's wall (hey there, pink floyd. so cute how y'all thought i'd make it through a post without some sort of lyrical reference. adorbs. really.) sure, i get that not everyone will appreciate how much it took for me to be so vulnerable when it seems like such a second-nature thing to do for everyone else. i understand that i tend to care too much for people that don't care a thing about me. but at the end of the day, i can sleep a little easier knowing that i loved without hesitation. occasionally. ;)

here's to the big dirty thirty.